


Cherries

by WhenIFindLoveAgain



Series: A Bag Of Bash For Passion [31]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Romantic Comedy, British Comedy, Church of England, Churches & Cathedrals, Comedy, Comedy RPF, Comedy of Errors, England (Country), F/M, Fanfiction Comedy (MICF), Flirting, Fluff and Humor, Funny, Humor, Kissing, Light-Hearted, M/M, No Angst, No Sex, No Smut, Paganism, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Friendship, Romantic Soulmates, Romanticism, Sexual Humor, Sweet, Sweet/Hot, Tragedy/Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:46:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26745349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhenIFindLoveAgain/pseuds/WhenIFindLoveAgain
Summary: Architect and former tailor Yoon Jeonghan has had his eye on the son of the local Anglican Church minister in the British Cotswold Village where he lives, Joshua Hong, for the last three years until someone put around that he was Pagan and all hopes of romance died. But, three years on, Jeonghan comes back with it and a vengeance to pop Joshua Hong's cherry with mates Seungcheol, Seokmin, Soonyoung, Mingyu, Wonwoo, Minghao and Vernon in tow
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan, Chwe Hansol | Vernon/Original Female Character(s), Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan
Series: A Bag Of Bash For Passion [31]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1678627
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Cherries

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, again! So, here we are with CHERRIES; be warned, it is very cheeky, sweet, light hearted, rude, chaotic, and, in a cynical, humorous manner it dictates the culture of rural English life - especially in the Cotswolds. Bear with us, ladies and gents, your time won't be wasted!

Jeonghan laid back on the Scandinavian style reclining smoking chair, his feet piled on top of one another on the matching ottoman, a cigarette between his lips and a sheet mask on his face with his hair piled up on top of his head in a claw grip comb. He was just about going to sleep nearly, and, Seungcheol had already got a couple of sneaky pictures of one of his best mates in his current condition.

"so, whose the obsession this time?" Seungcheol joked, sitting down on the ottoman from the oatmeal-cream toned upholstered couch in Jeonghan's sitting room, a open can of coke that he had grabbed for himself on the fridge on the blackwood coffee table.

"Hm?" Jeonghan's index and middle fingers clasped around the butt of his cigarette like scissor blades and took it away from his lips, exhaling a lungful of pearly white and thick smoke.

"Who is it?" Seungcheol pointed to Jeonghan in his current state.

"Same as ever." Jeonghan asnwered. "Joshua Hong."

"Oh, mate!" Seungcheol groaned, but, not with a estastic level of humor going through him. Jeonghan had been in pursuit of the vicar's son for nearly four years.

And had not yet suceeded.

"Don't you worry, i'll fucking get him." Jeonghan pointed at Seungcheol directly without opening his eyes. "I've got it all planned out."

"Humor me," Seungcheol asked, nipping over to Jeonghan and his mate letting him have a quick puff on his cigarette. "Whose on top if you two did go at it?" He questioned after a few moments of the blissfully warm feeling that smoking brought it's user.

"Well, the boy can have a go once he gets educated in who God actually is." Beneath his sheet mask, Jeonghan raised a single eyebrow coquetisshly, still not actually opening his eyes.

Seungcheol, now retreated back to his side of the sitting room, nearly pissed himself laughing. The huge rectangular multi-paned windows in Jeonghan's Georgian-era home had their light green embroidered curtains parted open, a lovingly gentle warm sunlight came through the glass, giving a clear view out onto a immaculate garden full of all the British favourites; lavender, jonquils, daffodils, roses, carnations, elm trees, one acorn, one oak, three birch, and a cherry tree with a round partch of bare lawn in the centre from a small tea-service courtyard that currently still had the toybox sitting out there from when Jeonghan's godchildren who lived on the other side of the village had visited earlier. Jeonghan's god-children were the twins - May and June - of their youngest mate, Vernon, whose wife - they got married as soon as her pregnancy test came back positive - had given birth to the twins at hilarious timing. May had been born two minutes before Midnight on the final day of May, and June had been born three minutes and fifty seconds into the first day - early morning, just after Midnight - of June.

Hence their names. 

The babies were now just under a year old and were absolutely gorgeous. They made Jeonghan feel quite clucky.

"Ok, Hitler, was the plan for the invasion of that poor guy's sense of being?" Seungcheol remarked of Joshua Hong.

Jeonghan smiled a little bit but tried not to do it too much because of the sheet mask.

"When his Mum and Dad and Grandparents - both sides - are busydoing Churchy stuff." Jeonghan told Seungcheol matter-of-factly. "On Sunday they're having a fundraisng ball for Save The Children even thought all donated money is confiscated by the government and goes to the Sudanese army anyway." Jeonghan explained. "Seeing as everyone in this village is either Catholic, Baptist, or Anglican, or just grotty and backward -"

Seungcheol snorted a laugh.

"- they'll all be botty-kissing the Hongs providing they aren't racist - even they so are!" Jeonghan added. "Anyway, I'll pop around to see Joshua who'll be kept away by protective Dadda Hong from the Catholics and I'll pop the cherry." Jeonghan tried to wink and nearly lost his sheet mask.

"I don't get that."

"What?"

"Anglicans are arseholes too and once were Catholics but Anglicans just about hate Catholics as much as the Pagans do."

Jeonghan burst out laughing. "Yeah, Vicar Hong reckons that all of them would rape Joshua because if you're a paedophile the Catholic Church is the place to be." Jeonghan hummed cheerfully.

Seungcheol suddenly felt quite sick. So did Jeonghan.

"Cunts." They simultaneously remarked of the festering shit. Jeonghan lit a new cigarette and Seungcheol swallowed a decent bit of his coke.

"What's the one thing you want to do, first?" Seungcheol asked Jeonghan of Joshua Hong, getting back to a better topic. "Bedroom wise?"

Jeonghan excused himself and went to take off his sheet mask. He came back a minute later, still smoking. "Just kiss him." Jeonghan answered. Seungcheol had been joking, and, had expected Jeonghan to joke about getting Joshua on all fours and doing something rough, but, it seemed not to be that case. Jeonghan had quite a gentle expression on his face, and, Seungcheol couldn't help but pay attention to it.

What Seungcheol didn't know that Jeonghan knew for a fact was that Joshua was a complete virgin largely due to three matters; he didn't exactly like girls - no matter, all the girls around were arseholes with false eyelashes and pimply breasts - his Dad was feircely protective of him - due to the large Catholic population of the formerly very Anglican village - and, then, Jeonghan himself.

Some utter DICK!!! put around years ago that Jeonghan got it on with all the pagans - MEN AND WOMEN, LIKE, DEAR GOD!!! - in the tribes that came down from South Wales to the Mounmouth, Gloustershire, Cornwall and Somerset borders. What it actually was that Jeonghan's first job was working as a tailor for a local family business - the Evans, which, incidentally, were Welsh and Pagan - and, then, he did architecture at University in London and came back to the countryside to set up business with the Lennon's who had the money and the willing to partner in business with Jeonghan and invest.

And, yes, they were pagan - BUT THEY WERE COCKING RUSSIAN!!!

"No one seems to understand that each paganism is different whichever race you work with!!!" Jeonghan had shrieked his head off at the time to Seungcheol. "The Serbs are nothing like the Welsh just like the Welsh are nothing like the Japanese cunts with their Shinto shit!!!"

Anyhow, as a result, Joshua, who, then, eighteen years old and becoming slowly attached to the intensity of Jeonghan's sincere charms had run a mile in the opposite direction.

Literally.

Jeonghan had gone up to him one day at a local Farmer's market for a chat only for Joshua to pale, look very faint, before mumbling that he had a train to catch - even though there was no train station in the village - before he truly did tear off in the opposite direction.

It had been four years since that incident and Jeonghan was still trying to make fucking amends. Jeonghan swore blind he'd rip the face apart of whichever cunt that started that up...

However, two days later on Sunday, Jeonghan had been hanging out with his mates Seungcheol, Seokmin, Soonyoung, Wonwoo, Mingyu, Minghao and Vernon at his house and had completely forgotten about the "pop Joshua Hong's cherry" even though well-dressed couples and bands and food caterers and press had been swarming all over the village all day with charity, local government, and church representatives pooling about with their shit-eating grins and tax-evation plans etching up in their heads as they spoke a believeable enough speech to the ignorant masses watching, convincing the idiots they weren't the scum of the earth.

It was nearly eight and not a drop of sunlight left when Jeonghan did remember. Having been tucked on happily on the couch watching the football between Seungcheol and the tree-like Mingyu, Jeonghan had been in his own little world until Vernon asked Seokmin what the time was; at half eight every night it was his daughter's bed-time, so, what Vernon would do was go and tuck them in with their Mother and then race back to the pub or the football grounds or Jeonghan's house, wherever he and the others were hanging out.

Jeonghan had squawked, bolting up-right, clocking Seungcheol in the chin with his shoulder before swearing even more and racing from the room. 

"Han? Hannie?" The boys called after him in similar fashion as he tore upstairs. Ten minutes later, Jeonghan came back still a bit wet from the shower in black jeans and a green tartan-patterned t-shirt, his long silver-opaque bleached hair with it's dark roots falling loose around his face and back in immaculate curtains. 

"Where're you off to?" Seungcheol asked.

"I'll get him even if it kills me!" Jeonghan shouted, racing for the front door.

"You what?" Mingyu echoed while Wonwoo and Vernon emitted half-laughs. 

Seungcheol sighed. "Ou, you, bugger, get back here." He called easily, used to Jeonghan's downright comedic behaviour.

"Where are you going?" Minghao shouted.

"I'll fuck that boy even if it kills me!" Jeonghan hollered.

Vernon looked around the sitting room, his jaw dropped in humored incredulousnouss, before all of them were up and running to the front of Jeonghan's house as the front door opened and slammed. Seungcheol was cackling away, Minghao and Wonwoo shared the same gentle sort of interest, and Seokmin, Soonyoung, Vernon - ever the articles - were on it like moonlight.

The boys peered down the British Cotswold street with it's paved roads and deep bluestone victorian gutters and hawthorn hedging around sandstone cottages to see Jeonghan's hips flicking from side to side as he walked down the street, silver-opaque hair loose around his face and back. 

"Hannie, come back you idiot!" Seungcheol called.

"YOU ARE ON THE BRINK OF NO RETURN!" Seokmin and Soonyoung added.

Their answer was Jeonghan turning around with a huge grin so bright it put the sun in a shade, pulling two items from the pockets of his skinny jeans and holding them up in the air for all to see.

All the boys just dropped the hesitations of annoying Jeonghan's mostly middle-aged or eldery neighbours and began to whoop and cheer and clap, going as mental as they could at the footpath. Jeonghan put the items back in his pockets, winked, and continued to sashay down the street that curved down the hill.

"What was he holding up?" Wonwoo squinted, his glasses inside on the coffee table in the sitting room.

"What?" Soonyoung looked at him, barging between Mingyu and tucking himself neatly into Wonwoo's side. Mingyu scoffed and rolled his eyes before Minghao rescued him, much to the hilarity of Seokmin.

"What was it he was holding up?" Wonwoo implored.

"Lube and condoms." Soonyoung deadpanned.

"Oh, for fu -yuck!" Wonwoo exclaimed.

That did it. Wonwoo's single remark nearly killed all his mates on the footpath in a British Cotswolds village.

All the way, Jeonghan was well on his way to the Hong's detached - and very large - "cottage" in the nicest part of the internal village. It seems that bible-bashing was very profitable; especially when the said Vicar, wife and son were tremendously good-looking so most of the church-goers came in for a perve, not to worship the Anglican idea of God.

It's also why they put money in the Church collection tin.

It was part of the culture for peep-show spectators to cough up a few quid, right?

Ooo.

The Hong's residence was a four-hundred-year-old large sandstone cottage with Welsh blackwood internal carpentry and fittings, full original features, a thick and sturdy thatched roof, and one of the most beautiful gardens, second only to Jeonghan's masterpiece of ethereally overgrown wonder of nature. The house was surrounded at the front and left/right hand sides by a huge twelve foot tall and five foot thick hawthorn hedge that had steadily been growing since about 1937 according to one of the pagans Jeonghan had known for years and had had many family members from the old world born on this part of the earth. It had a arched entrance through the edge to the front garden, and, Jeonghan saw that the front door was wide open as were all the windows open as well, curtains fluttering in the mild and beautifully warm Spring evening breeze. Only in this part of the world could you leave all your doors and windows open and not get broken into.

And it wasn't because it was rural. It was due to the fact that all of Britain's drug dealers, murderers, rapists, car thieves, robbers and other hardened criminals knew that if they put a toe onto pagan territory land they would be killed in a very indigenous way. The thought made Jeonghan giggle. A Scottish tourist had once been caught trying to steal some cigarettes so a group of mums waiting to pick their children up from school bustled into the newsagents, dragged him out, and proceeded to nearly kick him to death in the gutter.

Even though the door was wide open, Jeonghan was raised with common deceny and courtesy rather than suck-hole political correctness; he knocked on the open door and waited for Joshua. Joshua came up the entrance hall a couple of seconds later, two cats that Jeonghan knew had been part of a dumped litter found in the local botanical gardens by the Church's cleaning lady before been delivered to the Hong's residence three years ago following Joshua. Jeonghan could hear the faint sound of some sort of gentle instrumental music and Joshua had a tea-towel over one shoulder.

He smelt very, very pleasantly like soap.

"Hello." Jeonghan said softly. Joshua blushed slightly. Poor bloke, Jeonghan thought to himself. He still thinks I'm some sort of heathen that kills goats and castrates Catholic priests. "Whatchoo up to?" Jeonghan gazed at Joshua in a way that was considerate without been intrusive. Joshua's head ducked down towards the ground for a moment. Joshua was wearing a dark green jumper and denim jeans; he was barefoot and his hair was fresh and light from a recent wash. Jeonghan wouldn't have minded sticking his nose into it. 

"Just doing the dishes." Joshua blushed slightly. The cat by his feet miaowed; it was a fluffy grey-blue person with sky-blue eyes and Jeonghan had often noticed a arrogance in cats, but, this one seemed quite pleasantly cheerful and not at all bothered by the long-haired stranger on the doorstep of the cottage. Not bothered enough to claw the long-haired stranger to death via intense bleeding, anyhow.

"Better come in and help you dry them." Jeonghan grinned. Joshua smiled a bit.

"I don't think so." Joshua remarked, his cheekbones now quite pink. He had a twinkle in his eyes, like little universes shone out from inside of his mind. Jeonghan was more happy and hopeful by the nanosecond. "Give me a moment; go through to the garden, I'll join you in a moment."

It turned out Joshua was looking after his parents cottage while everyone was at the charity fundraising ball at the village town hall, and, with doing it, had been doing some odd jobs that his mother and father had missed out on doing whilst rushing around organizing the village for the funraising event; dusting, lawn mowing, garden taming, hedge trimming, vacumning, dish-washing. Joshua now had his own house, a cool modern Scandinavian apartment - one of four - in a old butter factory in a nearby large town that had acsess to Birmingham and London. He owned a bookshop which also specialized in antiquarian books, and, apparently had a very good business going.

"I thought a heathen like you would enjoy the chrysanthemums." Joshua remarked, coming out with two cans of coke a couple of minutes later.

"I do enjoy the chrysanthemums, but I'm not a heathen." Jeonghan chuckled softly, popping the top of the can.

"How not?" Joshua gazed at him directly, searchingly. Oh, do that in a slightly different tone, Jeonghan begged internally, silently, of Joshua's being. Please be naked.

"I'm Korean." Jeonghan bluntly answered. "As far as bloodline, ethnic grouping, racial identity and common sense goes."

Joshua stopped.

"And no Pagan tribe - Welsh Cymry Indigenous, Gael-Celt, Germanic, Scandinavian, Serbian, Slavic, Mongol, Polynesian, Aboriginal, Maori, African, Hirakama Shinto, Jewish, Ibera, Isralite, Egyptian, Indo-Mongol, Gaul, Anglo-Francais/Saxon, Arabian - would have me in as I am not one of them." Jeonghan told Joshua. Joshua blushed. "The only way those tribes and ethnic groups take you in if you are half of them by blood of the Father or if you do business with them and don't fuck them over, but, even on the matter of the latter affairs, you're still kept on the outside, but, the outside is not without kindness, decency, respect, understanding, and hour." Jeonghan added to the character of the people who had kickstarted the rest of his life, and his career.

"I didn't think you knew that much." Joshua whispered, looking down at his knees. Jeonghan smiled.

"Oh, you'd be amazed at what I know." Jeonghan told Joshua without chiding him. "So, what have you been up to?" He asked, taking a sip of coke.

"Sort of wishing now I hadn't run off that day at the farmer's market." Joshua admitted slowly after a long pause of where he gazed off into the garden; in the spring warmth the clematis were blooming in purple growth, and, the hawthorn hedging was sprouting pink and white blooms. All the pagan girls in the local tribes born of the Hawthorn Tree as apart of their native culture and religion, were all dressed in the colours of green and pink and white, the same as the Hawthorn trees. Those colours were said to be good luck, but, those girls didn't need good luck when they were as beautiful as they were. Afterall, all girls born of the Hawthorn Tree were beautiful for Hawthorn was the embodiment of carnal love and desire for a thousand reasons and facts that all entwined up in the native culture and religion that was the whole world to the local tribes.

"It was years ago." Jeonghan consoled him. Even though it had been years since the rumor went around that Jeonghan was one of the pagans, there had been a different change of culture in Jeonghan and Joshua's relationship. Where the two of them had been friendly enough to sometimes walk together if they bumped into each other in the street, always comfortable, pleasant company of Jeonghan teasing Joshua and Joshua trying not to get too weak under Jeonghan's insistent and sincere attention, it had stopped. Joshua was the Vicar's child and, honestly, that was everything. Family meant more, reputation meant more, the whole world meant more than a long-haired possibly pagan architect and interior designer that had a new commission and a healthy cheque for the bank every fortnight.

"I made a twat of myself." Joshua said. Jeonghan knew well for himself all the flashbacks back to he and Joshua's sort-of relationship after it had effectively ended due to a grotty, backward little Christian village that had haunted him so badly - regret, shame, humiliation, embrassment, stress, sadness, anger, and, most of all, shame again - that it had felt like a post traumatic stress rather than a former friendship of sorts. It had always occurred to him what Joshua had thought; Jeonghan always believed that Joshua must have been quite happy to have Jeonghan out of his life, gone away to London. Never before did Jeonghan think that Joshua had had similar agonies to him.

"How?" Jeonghan asked.

"Everyone commented for weeks about how the vicar's son runs like a duck." Joshua told him simply.

Jeonghan burst out laughing. 

Joshua blushed even more. "I've made an idiot of myself." He said.

"You're forgiven." Jeonghan remarked, taking another drink of coke. He noticed that Joshua had barely touched his.

"Really?" Joshua gazed at him.

"Truly." Jeonghan smiled. They were silent for a long time; it wasn't a harsh silence, a cold silence. It was a comfortable silence, a relaxed silence. Suddenly, Jeonghan was hit by a tsunami. The sugar and cold flavour of the coke, the scent of the hawthorn and clematis in the air, the soapy smell of Joshua, the evening dusk Spring air, the warm greeze that occasionally went through the air, the bumblebees around the garden, the sense of freshly mown lawn, and the undeniable warmth flooding through Jeonghan's bones. Love. He was transported back to three years ago, walking down the street with Joshua in the what was then Autumn, blissful in his company and the two of them stopping, hiding behind a bluestone wall to listen to "To Love Somebody" by The Beegee's which someone was playing in their garden while they hosted some sort of party.

"Why did you come around?" Joshua suddenly questioned Jeonghan, breaking Jeonghan's reverie in full conciousness, but, the ghost of it didn't leave Jeonghan.

"See you." He told Joshua shortly, sincerely.

"But why?" Joshua pressed. Jeonghan couldn't quite understand why Joshua had not figured it out, yet. Did Joshua really think so little of him? With that inital eyes-full-of-universe and that pretty flush, that much belied otherwise in Jeonghan's eyes, but, ultimately, who knew? Jeonghan didn't trust God to, put it that way. 

"Because I like seeing you, and I've wanted to again. Tired of sitting on my hands. Went up to London to try and fix things but the only thing I came close to was a degree in architecture and a first-job experience by being mates with a egineer who was trying to renovate the state library and eventually we muddled through it together." Jeonghan sighed. "He was the image of Robin Gibbs from the Beegee's; you know how he looked back in '67 for the "To Love Somebody" film? That's the egineer for you. Nothing happened, for the matter. I then come back here and then have six months of plotting how to get back into your good books in this grotty, backward little village that appears quite nice on the surface but in full wholesomeness is not. And if you want me to be perfectly honest, and I'll probably sounded utterly Victorian bible-basher by saying it, I came around here to seduce you because I'm so in love with you that you've given me symptoms of post taumatic stress disorder in the after events of whichever tart put around that I was pagan and becuase of your precious Anglican business split up our relationship or whatever it was, to be blunt."

"Seduce me?" Joshua echoed. Jeonghan thought it was funny how that was the one thing that Joshua clamped on. "How did you plan on doing that?"

"Well, I'd bloody well kiss you first." Jeonghan said. Joshua laughed.

"You stink of London." Joshua commented.

"Yeah?" Jeonghan chuckled.

"You've become one of those people that says thinks like, "There's always a car park on Saville Row", and, "I had a friend that went into a bra shop that apparently makes the queen bras and she somehow got hers off too early in the fitting." Joshua illustrated the point before laughing again. "Oh, no, wait, you were always like that you're just twenty-five now."

"Yes, I'm twenty-five and I want to get somewhere in my life. I thought I'd have all these troubles completeed by the time I was twenty-one if I'm perfectly honest."

"And as you haven't..."

"It's given me more time - years - to deliberate on the certainity of the happiness of my whole life - current and future - and I keep arriving back at you. There's no one else like you on Earth; I did make a bid to move on as to not derevise my own life and yours, but, when I did then find out that nothing for you had changed except for a few minor things, there begun the last six months of my life trying to get closer to you whilst doing up people's houses every two weeks."

"Fucking Christ." Joshua suddenly said. Jeonghan looked at him in amazement. "I need a drink." Joshua quickly added, getting to his feet. "And a smoke. No, wait," He hesitated. "Make that several. I can't cope with this without help."

He went back inside his parents cottage. Five agonizing minutes later when Jeonghan was ready to look for him, Joshua came back out with a bottle of visalia and a smouldering cigarette in his mouth. He looked incredibly sexy; Jeonghan couldn't help but think it of Joshua. Joshua had taken his jumper off and was wearing a light grey shirt with the sleeves rolled up around his elbows. His hair was mussed up, like he had run his hand agitatedly through it, and, he took a seat back at the outdoor garden table.

"Was the seducing plan - did love confession or something like it...was that a part of the plan as well?" Joshua staggedly asked Jeonghan. Jeonghan regarded him. 

"Not really, but we got talking." Jeonghan remarked. Joshua questioned him if he still smoked occasionally. When Jeonghan said he did, Joshua offered him one. Jeonghan took it and lit it up; instead of leaning across for Joshua to do it, Joshua threw the light into his lap.

"Ok." Joshua eventually answered.

"And?" Jeonghan raised an eyebrow.

"What?" Joshua looked at him.

"Do you want me to go?" Jeonghan quipped.

"I don't know." Joshua drew a breath on the cigarette. A dusky warmth came over his eyes as he did and all blood in Jeonghan's body rushed to his abdomen and below. He tightly crossed his legs. Joshua got up again, and went inside. He came back with a art-deco era crystal asher, and put it down on the table.

"Why don't you know?" Jeonghan asked him.

"Because I just don't?" Joshua avoided looking at him.

"Do I get a kiss, then?" Jeonghan took a leap of faith. Joshua stared at him.

"Fuck off." Joshua told him squarely.

Jeonghan took hasty leave. 

"FUCK IT, FUCK IT, FUCK IT, FUCK IT, FUCK IT!!!" Jeonghan chanted the swear-words in a roar as he came back inside his hair. He most certainly frightened Seungcheol, Seokmin, Soonyoung, Mingyu, Wonwoo, Vernon and Minghao. "DIDN'T BLOODY WORK!" He called out, stomping upstairs, acutely feeling the packet of plastics and the bottle of lube in his pockets. "JESUS FUCKING SHITTING CHRIST!" He howled in one final protest to the universe before slamming his bedroom door shut and locking it so none of the blokes from downstairs could come up and comfort him. Comfort? More likely mock him.

Two days later Jeonghan had a second break-through. The Hong's Anglican Church fund-raising affair for Save The Children had been a utter fucking riot.

Two couples had been found to be engaged in coitus in the back of hired limosuines while the Scottish drivers were off having a merry time at the local pub and feeling up the barmaids, someone had been flogging off the bar that had been arranaged in the town hall for the ball, someone else had a miscarriage in the toilets of the town-hall - that was very, very sad - but all in all, all events of the night were trumped by more massive things:

A drunk driver - guest of the ball - crashed a BMW through the Hong's eighty-year-old-plus hedge, the local pagans had begun warfare when a boozy catholic priest had shouted about sucking the breasts of a thirteen year old girl - incidentally, daughter of the head Druid of the tribe - and, as a result, three Catholic families had been chased down the street and duffed up to within an inch of their lives. Jeonghan thought they got off easy; their homes and shops had not been torched, their cars were fine, they weren't permantely scarred, and, hadn't need hospital attention. Jeonghan was privately amazing the sods weren't ripped apart in the street. 

Oh, and Jeonghan was given his biggest job yet; within two months he was set to make £175,000. 

Bloody lovely!!!

Jeonghan sorted through paperwork in his original featured Georgian sitting room one early Spring evening with a Tame Impala vinyl record spinning on the gramophone, two of his lamps turned on, and legnthways across his chesterfield couch with his feet crossed over one another on one of the arms. Jeonghan's navy cotton t-shirt was warm on his skin without been suffocating from the formerly warm day, and his reading glasses were pushed down his nose, a smouldering cigarette between his lips.

Suddenly, there was a knock on his front door. Jeonghan got up to answer it. On the weekends Vernon and his wife sometimes needed a babysitter for their babies, May and June, even if it was only for an hour or two.

"I was wretched 

It was late..."

"Josh." Jeonghan said, seeing Joshua on the front doorstep. Joshua was rugged up in a black turtleneck and latte-toned wool coat, a large-scale tartan pattern with white toning. He looked very nice but his dark almond-shaped eye betrayed otherwise. Jeonghan asked him if he would come in, and, Joshua did. 

"In the world that my demons cultivate

I felt the strangest emotion but it wasn't hate

For once..."

Joshua and Jeonghan settled in his sitting room. Jeonghan had gone to turn the electric ceiling lights on but Joshua had said it was alright as it was. Jeonghan settled himself in a wing-backed armchair in the room and gazed at Joshua who was on the chesterfield sofa.

"Yes, I'm changing

Yes, I'm done..."

"I need to have a talk with you." Joshua told Jeonghan.

"Yes, of course." Jeonghan answered.

"Yes, I'm older

Yes, I'm moving on

And if you don't think it's a crime then you can come along

With me."

Both young men looked at the record spinning on the gramophone. They were both entranced by it; the music drenched itself in the mood and the tone and the gentle darkness of Jeonghan's sixteen-foot sitting room. 

"Life is moving

Can't you see?

There's no future left for you and me." Joshua's eyes slid to meet Jeonghan's directly, and, suddenly, there was such a graphic pain in them that it winded Jeonghan utterly.

"I was hoping and I was searching endlessly

But baby now there's nothing left that I can do..."

Jeonghan's heart rung itself faintly, distantly, and his eyes wetted seemingly all on their own as Jeonghan's whole soul ached.

"So don't be blue..."

"That bloody thing can shut up." Joshua said just as Jeonghan commented, "Sorry about the bloody thing, I'll turn it off."

"Thank fucking God." Jeonghan said as Joshua stopped the sound of the music.

"Language." Joshua reminded him, once more becoming an Anglican minister's child.

"Ugh." Jeonghan rolled his eyes, discreetly wiping them dry while Joshua's back was turned. He felt rather humiliated; bloody song, he thought unaffectionately of the record.

"What's happening?" Jeonghan asked Joshua, Joshua once more taking a seat on the chesterfield sofa.

"Yourself and I?" Joshua remarked.

"I..." Words failed Jeonghan. "I didn't exactly do it right the other day." He eventually managed. "I hadn't planned the talking bit."

"No, you just expected me to lay down for you?" Joshua raised an eyebrow.

"And open your legs a bit." Jeonghan added, mildly awkward.

"Yeah?" Jeonghan, too busy looking at Joshua's face for his next words, didn't notice Joshua's legs part a few centimeters from their natural set. "How much?" Something lit up in a smouldering heat in Joshua's eyes. Jeonghan's stomach dropped. 

"Well, a bit more than that." He pointed at Joshua's thighs and between. Joshua opened them a bit more, but barely. 

"Better show me then." Joshua whispered. 

Jeonghan couldn't help it. He grinned brightly.

"It's not hard." He commented.

Joshua grinned also. "Work for me, then." He stated.

"Sorry?" Jeonghan was suddenly launched out of his depth. Fucking hell. Joshua had never been like this before. And, for God's sake, he owned a bookshop and was the child of a Anglican minister. Children of such people and benefactors of such means did not behave like this.

Mostly because most Anglican children and bookshop owners were introverted twats with a ridiculous upbringing.

Joshua beckoned to him. "You dared come around to my parent's house with certain things in your pockets to fuck me on the floor because we all know you're an impatient git and desist as you may but everyone knows you've got culture by those fucking pagans in town, you've got it in you now from hanging out from them." Joshua's eyes gazed directly into Jeonghan's being, looking through him. "You're not the only one that grew up, Han."

"I..." Jeonghan's mouth hung helplessly open. "Get out." He snapped his fingers, pointing to his front door. "Out of my house. Now."

Joshua giggled. "Seriously?" He looked at Jeonghan. "Because I'm not a sweet, submissive church boy that melts under your charms you can get it back?"

"Precisely." Jeonghan pushed Joshua out of his front door.

"You know I drove over from my place, right?" Joshua said, stucking his foot in the door so Jeonghan couldn't just shut it on him.

"Josh -" Jeonghan went to say but Joshua interrupted him with one word.

"Babe."

Jeonghan nearly tipped over. Fucking hell, mate, get a grip!!! Jeonghan savagely thought to himself. He opened the door properly again. Joshua leant against the doorframe, hands in the pockets of his jeans.

"Close the door and then open it again after ten seconds." Joshua told Jeonghan. Jeonghan did as he asked.

When Jeonghan opened the door, Joshua was waiting nervously on his doorstep, head ducked slightly to he looked up at Jeonghan through his eyelashes. 

"Uh, hey." Joshua mumbled shyly as Jeonghan gazed at him. It took a dense Jeonghan a few seconds to work out what was happening. "Can - can I come in?"

"Yes, of course." Blood rushed down south to Jeonghan's jeans. He couldn't help it. "Come in." 

As Joshua shuffled inside, Jeonghan just couldn't take it anymore.

He wrapped his index and middle fingers in the belt-loops of Joshua's jeans and pulled him close to him; Jeonghan pressed his own back up against the wall, and, one of Jeonghan's hands moved up from Joshua's jeans to curve around the back of his neck before kissing him.

Something exploded in Jeonghan's mind.

Yes, a soft voice murmured inside Jeonghan's mind. Yes. 

"Don't try and act like Casanova again," Jeonghan murmured. "You just get cross. You're supposed to be sexy, not cross."

"I was trying to act like Dad, actually."

Jeonghan nearly cackled a laugh. "Yeah, that worked." He murmured. 


End file.
